So if you have been reading my blog for a while, then that picture might be familiar to you. That is an photo from a previous post that SO reminds me of my word for 2014. I scoured the net for pictures that reminded me of my word, but that one just stuck with me. You know why?? Because the girl in that photo is standing on a downtown street without any regard to the passing cars, having fun, looking confident, and looking like she isn't worried about one single thing (even though she was probably worried about lots of things) and that she has it all figured out. She's looks like she is living in the moment. I want to be like that girl all.the.time.
How crazy is it that the girl in the picture is me, yet that is one of the few times last year that I felt completely... fearless. That is my word for 2014. Fearless.
In 2013, I learned a ton about a lot of things. In turn, I was able to check a lot of things off my list. I learned a lot about photography and even felt comfortable enough to offer a few tips to you, I photographed my first shop and took a trip to a new beach. I started thinking about the long-term life of this blog and had the site redesigned, I learned the importance of prioritizing my time, I learned more about cooking, the evolution of friendship, and how to feel comfortable in front of a camera. Most importantly, I learned how to truly be comfortable being with myself.
I also learned a lot of things about myself - some good, some not so good. I realized that the older I get, the easier it is to get incredibly comfortable with the now - even if the now is not what's best or what makes me the happiest. I don't like change. If a change needs to be made, I need a good plan and for the stars to align - all of them - before the change occurs. Taking risks, big ones that really need to be made, freak me out. I get really anxious sometimes when a challenge or problem occurs and I have zero control over why it happened or how to immediately fix it. Raise your hand if you sometimes feel the same way! :) A fabulous thing I learned in 2013 is how to really stop and analyze my feelings, which is when all of the not so good characteristics rose to the surface.
So in 2014, I need to take all of the things I learned in 2013, good and bad, and move forward. I need to be fearless to be able to do that. Here is why that has become incredibly important:
Friends, this year for me is dedicated to being fearless because being fearless is going to help me figure out why in the world I'm here. I'm nearing my mid-30's and that question is still lingering. I have this feeling that I have something more to do in life than what I am doing today and last year I developed this burning desire to figure it out. I often get inklings of ideas of what my purpose might be, but then I start listening to these voices in my head that say, "That is too risky!" or "That won't work!" or "You aren't smart enough for that!" or "Do you have time for that?" or "You want to do that?? - Girl please..."
I realize that fear is an inevitable part of life, but learning how to overcome it is the true challenge. And that is what I am challenging myself to this year. I need to be more trusting of God and have tons more faith. I need to be more of a risk taker. I need to understand that a perfect alignment of the stars is not always possible, and I need to accept and embrace change. I want to be on the inside what that girl in the photo looks like on the outside. This is going to take lots of stepping outside of my comfort zone, prayer, research, and more learning.
But I'm ready. Bring.it.on.
Gosh I might have shed a tear or two while writing all of that. That is how deep and important this is to me. But I'm writing it down and putting it out into the universe. That's a big first step right??
If you made it all the way through this post, thank you... If you can relate to this or have any advice, I'd love to hear it! Have a great weekend! Oh and Links of The Week will return next Friday! :)
First photo by Paula Coldiron